30 Days Of Kink - Day 11

What are your views on the ethics of kink?

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Safe, Sane and Consensual.

I agree with all of these. However, to different people, there's different levels of all of the above - right?

Right.

Is it okay to hurt people when they like it and agree to it? What about having someone under you in 'servitude'? People have been taught that slavery is wrong, but is BDSM servitude the same thing?

I think so, yes. If they ask to be hurt and are in their right mind, and it's all agreed upon beforehand - there's a lot of things that separates this from people just hurting each-other. Y'know, for the non-kinky fun of it. I personally love a little flogging every now and again, a little nipple torture - but that's because I'm able to ask for it beforehand. Because I'm able to set up limits. If someone walks up to me and punches me in the face, what's going to happen? I'm going to kick their ass, because that's not something I agreed to.

The Sadism/masochism part of BDSM is a highly ritualized thing, in my opinion. You set up guidelines. You learn people's limits. You don't go over those limits, and if you push them too hard, there's a word or a signal to get them to stop, and it's something you're morally obligated ( among other things ) to listen to. If you overstep the boundaries laid down beforehand, then it's no longer the consensual part of it, and then it's no longer okay.

It's a complicated thing.

Having someone under you in servitude is also a thing I'm okay with. It's got its own set of rules - sure, there can be winging it while it happens, but there's always hard limits, soft limits, discussions beforehand, sometimes even contracts that secure a person's place in all of this. It's not a bad thing to do, not an unethical situation because even if we learned slavery is bad, this is not that slavery. This isn't subjugating people who you think are worth 'less' than you - this is entering into something as a partnership, where both parties have equal levels of responsibility in extremely different areas of kink. BDSM slavery is not the same slavery we learn about in history. Safe, sane and consensual are the rules everyone should apply to all walks of life - BDSM just does it best, I think.

In all, I find the world of kink pretty damn ethical.

( sorry this one's late! )